I'm going to tell M about the SI, at least, today. I don't dare say anything about restricting yet. We haven't had to do it yet, but the usual procedure for that kind of thing is to call a special SADD meeting, sort of a half trial, half intervention. There's no way in hell I'm doing that.

Skipping lunch again today. I've been trying to fast all week but failing. I have no fucking self control. Monday was alright until I got home from school. I saw a bag of rice chips and tasted just one, then I had to go and stuff my face til I finally went to bed. It was probably a 1000 calorie night, if not more. Yesterday A was gone and I was extra determined not to mess up just because I'd be unattended. She doesn't watch me eat or encourage me to fast or anything like that, but I still want to around her. I do all the time, but especially when I'm with her. In some ways she's a model to me of self-control. I dunno. Anyway, I failed yesterday. Ate lunch and supper. Too much, though it didn't seem to affect me too much. My weight was only 207.0 this morning, a number I haven't seen in a while.

It's only 1130, but so far I've only had a few sips of plain, cold tea. I have no idea how many calories that'd be, but it can't be more than one or two.

Edit: Told M. Emailed him, since he didn't want to wait til after the meeting later today. He's ignoring me now. Shit.